Friday, January 3, 2014

2014 Orange Bowl: Shuey's Show

Go ahead, punk.  Make my day.

Sometimes, I love being wrong.  Like when I prognosticate that my Clemson Tigers will lose a BCS bowl game to legendary coach Urban Meyer and his squad of OSU players who came **this close** to playing for the BCS National Championship. 

Don't get me wrong, thanks to the hotdogging and typical wrong-headed play-switching by QB Tajh Boyd (I'm thinking of the idiotic jump pass near the OSU end-zone & the INT with less than 2:00 left) Clemson ALMOST lost this game.  But who stepped into the gap to save the day?

Orange Bowl MVP Sammy Watkins?

Hell, no.  The man who dogged, pressured and sacked OSU QB Braxton Miller all game long ***OH, AND ALSO managed an INT*** Clemson Linebacker SPENCER SHUEY.

Thank you, #33, for stepping up and being the "in the trenches" MVP of this crazy, back and forth game. 

Oh, and I thought Dabo's post-game rant was classic.  Only team in the Palmetto State to win a BSC game?  Owned up to previous butt-kicking two years ago?  Only non-SEC team to ever beat two ranked SEC teams in the same season?  Only time Clemson has ever had two 11 win teams back-to-back?  Just classic Dabo and obviously all ad-libbed.  You have to love the guy.

OK, I am NOT DONE!  More later!  I plan a follow-up with a post to taunt OSU fans and some Signing Day foolishness, hopefully with my partner in crime, the DaboKoolAId hissef!!!!!!!

Oh, and I just wanted to add this hot Asian cheerleader again.  For my own personal edification.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

****UNEXPECTED 2014 ORANGE BOWL PREVIEW****



I think we are going to get our asses kicked.

Why? Clemson has stunk up the stadium in 2013 when playing QBs like Ohio State's Braxton Miller. There is no indication that this game will be any different.

Yes, it is Tajh's last game as a Tiger, but I just feel like this game is going to make all Clemson fans do the following: 1.) hate Urban Meyer, 2.) cry, 3.) get really drunk, 4.) fall into the fetal position, 5.) yell and scream that Dabo should be fired, 6.) turn off the game in the third quarter and go watch internet porn.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Citadel Bulldogs at #7 Clemson Tigers


Location: Clemson Memorial Stadium, Clemson SC: DEATH VALLEY
Kickoff: 12:00 PM, Saturday, November 23, 2013
TV Coverage: NONE!  ESPN3 (online only)
Radio Coverage: WCCP.FM

When I lived in the Palmetto State many years ago, I met many Citadel grads.  They always seemed like good folks to me.  I always thought that the Citadel game was a fun game.  Not much animosity between the programs, just two teams wanting to go out there and have a good time.

That's why I am pulling my punches this week.  Namely because I didn't focus in on one person.  Shannon Faulkner.  Yep, I was gonna go there.  You remember her, right?  The famed "first woman admitted at the Citadel" who lasted less than one full day out in the hot Sakerlina sun.  Since Shannon, there have been over 200 women who actually spent time physically conditioning themselves before entering the Citadel and managed to graduate from that fine institution.  Shannon?  Well, she acquired an aversion to physical activity from her ordeal and now looks like Jabba the Hutt.
Me Jabba, no bada.
 I don't know if any women will be playing for the Citadel on Saturday.  Don't ask, don't tell.  However, there will be no Citadel cheerleaders.  I have it on good authority that several pounds of saltpeter have been ordered for the Citadel Gatorade specifically for when the Rally Cats come out right after halftime.

KEYS TO THE GAME: This is Clemson's LAST game at Death Valley this season.  The Citadel has had problems moving the ball, but does have a somewhat stout defense.  Still, this should be a cakewalk for the Tigers.  I expect Cole Stoudt to come out in the second half and really light things up.  Final Score: 62-14.


Tuesday, November 12, 2013

The Tigers Versus Baby Face and the Bumbles

GO, MY MINION!  GO AND KILL!  KILL!  MUAH-HA-HA-HA!
Location: Clemson Memorial Stadium, Clemson SC: DEATH VALLEY
Kickoff: 7:30 PM, Thursday, November 14, 2013
TV Coverage: ESPN
Radio Coverage: WCCP.FM

Georgia Tech.  Bobby Dodd.  Clemson.  Frank Howard.  Legends.

Georgia Tech.  Paul Johnson.  Clemson.  Dabo Swinney.  Huh?

Regardless, the past six meetings between these coaches have been memorable to say the least.  Tech has really owned Clemson in these matchups, going back to 2009 and including the ACC Title Game that same season (which no longer really happened thanks to NCAA sanctions).  Another nightmare game was when Tech stomped the Tigers in Atlanta in 2011 and ended Clemson's undefeated season.  Dicks.  In the six games played since Swinney became Head Coach, GA Tech leads 4-2.  Well, so what.  At least Clemson's Head Coach doesn't look like a baby head carved out of a shriveled apple.  
Tell me I'm lyin'.
KEYS TO THE GAME: Ah, the Triple Option.  GA Tech QB Vad Lee (action hero name if I ever saw one) is having an OK year in the system with just over 1K yards.  He'll be a very sore young man after Clemson beats him like a rented mule for four quarters this Thursday.  Tech has two running backs with decent numbers, given the system.  Tech RB Robert Godhigh has been a real pain in the ass to the Tigers the past few matchups and will probably be the same this time, as well.  Clemson will play it close in the first half and almost shit the bed in the fourth quarter, but I really do see the Tigers taking this game 38-24. 
CLEANSING THE PAUL JOHNSON FROM MY MIND FOR ANOTHER YEAR


Wednesday, October 30, 2013

#9 Clemson Tigers at Virginia Cavaliers

 
"Hang on now...so Bluedog Waggle 29 DON'T mean I keep the ball and try to TAJH IT UP???"
 
Location: Harrison Field at Scott Stadium, Charlottesville, VA
Kickoff: 3:30pm, Saturday, November 2, 2013
TV Coverage: ESPN
Radio Coverage: WCCP.FM
 
This weekend the Tigers of Clemson get on the bus and head north over the Shenandoahs to the picturesque and highly enlightened environs of UVA.  Yes, a university best known as the alma mater of  Katie Couric thinks it is above such plebian matters as the sport of American Football.  Say what you will about the Cavs, at least they have not been kicking up sand to leave the ACC for some lame Northern football conference.  No, they are content with being the Vanderbilt of the ACC and I, for one, think that is fine.  
 
KEYS TO THE GAME: Man, Virginia is having a hard luck season.  They have ZERO wins in the ACC, and have lost to programs like Duke and Ball State.  They did hang a mighty 10 points on Oregon, so they got that going for them.  I could go on and quote the stats of their sophomore QB David Watford or their junior RB Kevin Parks, but the crappiness of this team overshadows the individual efforts of these kids.  Expect Clemson and Tajh "Ballhog" Boyd to goof around in the first half and then finally get their shit together and finish off the Cavs with a beatdown in the second half.  Also expect Head Coach Mike London to be replaced with Gnarls Barkley in the second half.  Again.



Saturday, October 26, 2013

DSOT: "Go home, buddy, you're drunk." Edition

I just could not stop laughing at this.  The fact that this is how some fans honestly think is mind boggling. Because beating down a third string Maryland will totally put him back in the hunt.