Saturday, November 30, 2013
Friday, November 22, 2013
Kickoff: 12:00 PM, Saturday, November 23, 2013
TV Coverage: NONE! ESPN3 (online only)
When I lived in the Palmetto State many years ago, I met many Citadel grads. They always seemed like good folks to me. I always thought that the Citadel game was a fun game. Not much animosity between the programs, just two teams wanting to go out there and have a good time.
That's why I am pulling my punches this week. Namely because I didn't focus in on one person. Shannon Faulkner. Yep, I was gonna go there. You remember her, right? The famed "first woman admitted at the Citadel" who lasted less than one full day out in the hot Sakerlina sun. Since Shannon, there have been over 200 women who actually spent time physically conditioning themselves before entering the Citadel and managed to graduate from that fine institution. Shannon? Well, she acquired an aversion to physical activity from her ordeal and now looks like Jabba the Hutt.
|Me Jabba, no bada.|
KEYS TO THE GAME: This is Clemson's LAST game at Death Valley this season. The Citadel has had problems moving the ball, but does have a somewhat stout defense. Still, this should be a cakewalk for the Tigers. I expect Cole Stoudt to come out in the second half and really light things up. Final Score: 62-14.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
|GO, MY MINION! GO AND KILL! KILL! MUAH-HA-HA-HA!|
Kickoff: 7:30 PM, Thursday, November 14, 2013
TV Coverage: ESPN
Georgia Tech. Bobby Dodd. Clemson. Frank Howard. Legends.
Georgia Tech. Paul Johnson. Clemson. Dabo Swinney. Huh?
Regardless, the past six meetings between these coaches have been memorable to say the least. Tech has really owned Clemson in these matchups, going back to 2009 and including the ACC Title Game that same season (which no longer really happened thanks to NCAA sanctions). Another nightmare game was when Tech stomped the Tigers in Atlanta in 2011 and ended Clemson's undefeated season. Dicks. In the six games played since Swinney became Head Coach, GA Tech leads 4-2. Well, so what. At least Clemson's Head Coach doesn't look like a baby head carved out of a shriveled apple.
|Tell me I'm lyin'.|
KEYS TO THE GAME: Ah, the Triple Option. GA Tech QB Vad Lee (action hero name if I ever saw one) is having an OK year in the system with just over 1K yards. He'll be a very sore young man after Clemson beats him like a rented mule for four quarters this Thursday. Tech has two running backs with decent numbers, given the system. Tech RB Robert Godhigh has been a real pain in the ass to the Tigers the past few matchups and will probably be the same this time, as well. Clemson will play it close in the first half and almost shit the bed in the fourth quarter, but I really do see the Tigers taking this game 38-24.
|CLEANSING THE PAUL JOHNSON FROM MY MIND FOR ANOTHER YEAR|
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Location: Harrison Field at Scott Stadium, Charlottesville, VA
Kickoff: 3:30pm, Saturday, November 2, 2013
TV Coverage: ESPN
This weekend the Tigers of Clemson get on the bus and head north over the Shenandoahs to the picturesque and highly enlightened environs of UVA. Yes, a university best known as the alma mater of Katie Couric thinks it is above such plebian matters as the sport of American Football. Say what you will about the Cavs, at least they have not been kicking up sand to leave the ACC for some lame Northern football conference. No, they are content with being the Vanderbilt of the ACC and I, for one, think that is fine.
KEYS TO THE GAME: Man, Virginia is having a hard luck season. They have ZERO wins in the ACC, and have lost to programs like Duke and Ball State. They did hang a mighty 10 points on Oregon, so they got that going for them. I could go on and quote the stats of their sophomore QB David Watford or their junior RB Kevin Parks, but the crappiness of this team overshadows the individual efforts of these kids. Expect Clemson and Tajh "Ballhog" Boyd to goof around in the first half and then finally get their shit together and finish off the Cavs with a beatdown in the second half. Also expect Head Coach Mike London to be replaced with Gnarls Barkley in the second half. Again.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Friday, October 25, 2013
Location: Byrd Stadium, College Park, Maryland
Kickoff: Saturday, October 26, 3:30 pm
TV Coverage: ESPN
What a week. As if the pressure from the record-breaking prison pounding Clemson took at home at the hands of the Semenholes wasn't enough, Tajh "Tetsuo" Boyd was the focus of his own "tempest in a teapot" regarding supposed gambling debts. This started the predictable avalanche of insanity on the interwebs with people accusing Tajh of throwing the aforementioned FSU game, etc., etc.
THE GAMEPLAN: All references to "smoke without a fire" aside, the Clemson Tigers need to rebound and rebound big against the Turtles of Maryland. Maryland plans to leave the ACC for the BIG TEN (*giggle*) soon, so this matchup that has been so much of Clemson football history will not last very much longer. Will the Tigers and Turtle Tajh turn things around? Goddammit, I hope so. If not, my cohort "thedabokoolaid" may break into my office here in Orange Kool Aid Towers and poop on my signed and matted Dabo Swinney 16x20 photo. Again. I can't sleep on that. Regardless, Maryland's starting QB is out and that really worked out great for the Tigers the last time that happened and they played at Byrd. **shudders**
|Head Coach Randy Edsall reviews the game plan. No wonder their are so many injuries to this damn team.|
Where: Capital One Field at Byrd Turtle Memorial Stadium Sponsored By Taco Bell Loco Tacos
Why it matters: The Tigers look to rebound after a devastating loss in Death Valley last weekend. The mental state of the team will be tested here as we see just what these guys are made of. It's not how you get knocked down, it's how you get up that matters. Or something like that. Tajh has bet big on the Tigers this week, so I think the Tigers struggle through the first half and then Hot Rod will run right over the Turtles in the second half.
This Humble Bloggers Pick: Clemson wins 38-21. Which is great because the season is totally not over and half the teams will lose this Saturday. You can bet on that, bitches!